To a saucepan over medium heat, add the butter (or coconut oil), milk, brown sugar and salt. Allow the butter to melt over the heat and stir the ingredients together with a wooden spoon as they heat up. You don't need to stir constantly, but be sure to stir often so the sugar doesn't burn.
When the mixture starts to bubble, remove it from the heat. Add the cocoa, the peanut butter (or almond butter), and vanilla.
Stir or whisk these ingredients together until they're well blended and you're left with a thick, chocolaty mixture. Stir in the oats.
Scrape the mixture into your prepared baking pan and pat it down with a rubber spatula or your fingers. It helps to grease the spatula (or your fingers) first so the mixture doesn't stick as you're packing it into the pan. Try to avoid eating the mixture by the spoonful as you do this...it will be very tempting!!
Cover the baking pan with a lid or plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least 2 hours, or set in the freezer for up to an hour. I often refrigerate overnight because it really helps the bars to stay together when they're cut.